


SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK

by orphan_account



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Will Byers, Bisexual Maxine "Max" Mayfield, El is Gay And Misses Max, El is Sad And Lonely, Eleven Has Depressive Episodes, F/F, Fluff and Angst, I Am Also Sad And Gay, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Eleven | Jane Hopper, Max Dislikes Both Of These Things, Teen Romance, The Byers Family Comes Back, They're at Prom In This, Which Is Why I'm Writing Gay Fics, elmax - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:06:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23368162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The Byers family moves back to Hawkins halfway through the party's senior year. they all start to become friends again after growing apart, and they end up going to prom all together at the end of the year.
Relationships: Eleven | Jane Hopper/Maxine "Max" Mayfield
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK

(I’m just thinking out loud.)

When a heart splits, it doesn’t cut into a perfect half. It’s uneven, just a small chunk of flesh missing from it. Like a missing puzzle piece, the puzzle being unfinished until that piece is found and recovered. That hole in your heart once the piece is gone is unable to be replaced, and the void in your chest is filled with cold air.

A broken heart is something that El could never say she had. But that frigid air in your body is something she could understand better than anyone. Like she always had a piece of that thing inside her, just like Will Byers and the mind flayer. Except this one was irremovable. No matter how many giant hoodies she packed on, there would be times that the cold nipped at her skin. It could be the hottest day of the summer, and shivers would still be sent up her spine.

There would be times that she forced open her step-brother’s door and slammed it closed behind her, sliding down the wall and curing into herself. Will would put down whatever he was doing and help her onto her feet, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and another around her back so she could sob silently into his shoulder. Most times, tears wouldn’t surface, almost like they froze in place before they could fall. El’s voice would end up raspy and strained while she spoke. Will was the only person she knew that understood that feeling, that cold of the Upside down, that feeling of being unable to control your own body. Just watching through a stranger’s eyes as it did whatever it was told, being on autopilot. Will understood. He was a listener, barely speaking in return, but he still understood.

El was always afraid to talk to Joyce or Hopper about her issues. She knew Joyce would comfort her, but she wouldn’t listen the way El needed her to. She just wanted someone to understand, not pity her. Hopper doesn’t know better, either. He’s been through hell and back, but he’s never been an emotional person. So whenever El goes to him for advice, he never really gives her anything useful. It’s not his fault, either; he’s spent all his life pushing away his emotions to focus on reason and logic, and it’s come to the point that picturing him crying is actually a difficult task.

Jonathan was always an option, as he was only a phone call away, but him and El never really got along as well as her and Will. It’s not like she didn’t enjoy his company, he was a really sweet guy and was very similar to his brother in the emotional sense, but maybe the age difference and the fact that he was always busy with college was what made him the second option in El’s mind. Besides, she knew he had bigger things to worry about than someone else’s issues. He was probably busy every day, and even Joyce had to refrain from calling him at times because she knew he was a hard worker. 

But it seemed that the older El got, the worse her problems grew. The cold never changed, it would always be there until someone was able to fix it, but now her emotional state was cold, too. She was always at war in her own mind, not knowing what to do. Some days she couldn’t find a reason to get out of bed, and this almost emotionless state stayed the same throughout her high school years. It was after the byers family moved away with Hopper that this started to surface, and now she has these chains tying her to her pillow.  
What seemed to make all of this worse was the fact that one thing could never leave her mind. It was the fact that all she thought about was Max, her only hope being the girl whom she’d never see again. And that was the loneliest feeling in the world. El wanted to wake up next to her, wanted to feel her hands caressing her waist, wanted to tangle her hands in her hair. But El knew better than to keep thinking about Max, even though that hole in her heart would never regenerate by itself.

That was when she understood the full feeling of a broken heart. That depressed episode she’s been going through for almost three years now was only amplified by the loss of the girl she wished she could have. El forced herself to believe that one day she’d get over it, one day she’d find a man who would make her happy.

But that day never came. Even after meeting all the people that she did in high school, no feelings ever changed. She hung out with Will’s friends and they all accepted her into the group very quickly. The group of eight was tight, five boys and three girls, but it was never the same as the original party, just like how classic movie remakes never seem to have the same feeling to it as the originals.

What did come was the day that Joyce said during breakfast that she missed home, which was met with agreement from the whole table and a smile on El’s face. That smile seemed to stain, and she was met with the same grin every time she thought about the fact that she might be going home. That trigger-happy feeling stayed the same when the Byers & Hopper household was filled with boxes. Chairs were on tables, counters were swept clean of any items, and couches were already being moved into some company’s moving van. El hadn’t felt this happy since those few days she spent with Max during her break up with Mike.

(Did she ever really love Mike? No, not really. It’s a weird feeling, hard to describe- the attraction was still there, but the word “love” just never fit.)

Mike and El’s feelings for each other has started to rot away. It was a mutual feeling, but only after a few phone calls from Hawkins did it start to run dry. The weirdest part of all this was the fact that she barely interacted with Max after the move, yet cared about her so much more than she did about Mike or any of the others. So, Mike wasn’t really the most important thing to her. She would die for all of her friends, but now it seems that Mike is at the same level as all the others instead of him being her top priority like he was when they were immature fourteen year olds.

But Max was all that was on El’s mind as of now. Will seemed to be lost in thought as well during the ride, and not many words were spoken as they sat in the back of the moving van. Joyce and Hopper didn’t have much room in the backseat of their car for the seventeen year olds, so they offered to sit on the floor of the vehicle instead of trying to maneuver around all the stuff in the car. They brought a bag filled with stuff they’d need in just that car ride, including a compass that Jonathan gave to Will, a walkman, some snacks, and his radio. 

“Will, can you pass me that bag?” El asked after a long period of silence. Will perked up, then obliged, tossing the duffel bag over to her. She shuffled through it, eventually pulling out the walkman. There was already a tape inside of it, so El decided to just press play and see what would come up. It was the mixtape Will got from Jonathan for his twelfth birthday, the first song being 'Should I Stay or Should I Go.' El turned the volume up just slightly, looking up into Will’s brown eyes and bopping her head to the rhythm, a grin settling on her face while her brother rolled his eyes and copied her actions. 

Before they knew it, the vehicle came to a halt. El peeked her head out the back doors of the van, immediately recognizing the street. They were here. They were home.

After around a day, most of the necessities were unpacked. There were still a fair amount of boxes laying around that needed to be emptied, but the family was satisfied with their work. They needed some help unloading the rest, that was for sure. The Wheeler’s house was not too far away, just a ten minute bike ride, but nobody has had contact with the family for a long time now, and they weren’t sure if they moved away as well. It was worth a shot, though, and Will seemed ecstatic to be going to see his former best friend again after just around four years. El was excited, too, but nothing could beat the grin on Will’s face when Joyce allowed the two to go find their friends again.

It was cold outside, and El had to slip on one of Hopper’s hoodies that he forced onto her. Will hates the cold just as much as his sister does, so he made sure to slip into some jeans and a jacket instead of his usual shorts and a t-shirt. Just like before, the cold still nipped at her skin even though she wasn’t truly cold. But it seemed to be a less powerful feeling this time, and that hole in her heart now has become the tiniest bit smaller. Maybe it was the nostalgia of moving back to Hawkins, or maybe it was the thought of seeing the boy who saved her life for the first time in so long.

When Mrs. Wheeler answered the door in her long, white bath robe, a towel tied to hold up her hair, She didn’t seem to recognize the two at first glance, only giving them a warm “hello” instead of calling for Mike because his best friends are at the door. To be fair, Will finally got rid of that stupid fucking bowl cut that he had before and had grown a fair bit, and El never really visited the Wheelers when they lived in Hawkins before due to her being on the news so often, so they could see why she didn’t recognize them at first glance. But when she did, the grin on Karen’s face grew wider than neither El nor Will has ever seen before.

“Holy shit,” She exclaimed, taking both teens by surprise. Mrs. Wheeler quickly corrected herself, shaking her head. She apologized, letting them both inside. El quickly threw off the huge hoodie, and it seemed that Mrs. Wheeler didn’t have to ask for her name, like Mike has talked enough about El in their younger years for her to be easily recognizable. Karen quickly confirmed that she was talking to the right kids before calling Mike downstairs. His annoyed groan could be heard all the way from upstairs, and El caught Will letting out a slight giggle before closing his mouth fairly quickly.

Mike’s eyes lit up very quickly as soon as his eyes met the two people sitting at his kitchen table, their faces both turning to a grin. The boy looked speechless as he sprinted all the way down the stairs. El and Will stood up, allowing themselves to both be caught in a hug by the taller boy. He hadn’t grown too much since they last saw him, which wasn’t really that surprising, as he was way taller than the entire party when they were fourteen because of his early growth spurts. “Holy fuck!” he let out, causing the other two to laugh fondly. Mike let go of Will and turned to El, hugging just her softly. You could tell the same emotion that the two had before weren’t there anymore, but the same sort of love was evident between all three of them, which might be the reason the Will didn’t feel like a third wheel this time.

Will only watched with a smile on his face, knowing that in ten seconds, Mike would bro-hug Will just like he used to when they were smaller. And he did, El watching with a grin as her brother rested his head on his best friend’s shoulder. “I missed you guys so much.” Mike said, which was slightly muffled, but he pulled away after a bit. Mike’s eyes were starting to water slightly whilst he stood looking back and forth between the two, and he let out an exasperated laugh while he wiped his nose on his sleeve. Mrs. Wheeler had left the room some time ago to give the kids their space to catch up, which they did, talking about all the stuff that had happened whilst the Byers family was gone. 

“Max hasn’t moved away, has she?” El interrupted Mike and Will's conversation to say this, her face starting to redden. Mike looked at her, slightly confused, before answering, “No, she’s just down the street from here, why?” And El doesn’t want to tell him why, doesn’t want to tell him that she’s been in love with another girl for over a year, because she knows it shouldn’t be right, it should be wrong, and she’s just not ready for the pressure of society that will be forced upon her if the truth comes out. Yet Will shares a glance with Mike during El’s silence, and somehow that was enough for both of them to understand, even if the Wheelers had a reputation for being slightly homophobic. And somehow that was comforting, and the silence was passed along. Mike continued, assuring her that none of the others have moved away either, obviously deciding that they would talk about this later, which El was very thankful for.

That same comforting feeling stuck with her for the rest of the week, from the time they met up with Mike again to the days they walked thirty minutes all the way to Lucas’s and Dustin’s respective houses. Meeting Max was a different story, and El almost didn’t want to see her. It was the thought of being close to her again that excited her, sent a warm and fuzzy feeling through her veins, but once the thought settled in, it became scary. What if she screws it up? 

El knows that the last little chunk of her heart that’s missing will be filled with warmth again the moment she lays her eyes on Max. Max and her beautiful green eyes, her red hair that seemed too easy to card your fingers through without reaching a knot, her tight shirts that hugged her breasts perfectly, the way her whole face brightens up when she laughs, just her. And fuck, she was pretty. She had an attitude, too, just a slight one, but she has a side of her that only seems to activate when she’s around El. Not like she feels as though she needs to act differently around her other friends, but almost like she’s much more comfortable being around Eleven. Maybe that’s how she felt about Max before, that feeling where the only person you want to be around is just them. That person that you’d always deny liking, even to yourself, until it finally hits you.

But once she finally met Max again, she didn’t regret it for a single second. The moment she laid eyes on the girl, who had matured evidently, she broke down into tears. The whole party was there, as well- they’d planned to surprise Max by meeting up at the park and not saying anything about Will and El being there, which was weird that Max even showed up, given that she didn’t know what was going to happen and that the party hadn’t really interacted much after the split aside from a few waves or ‘sup’s’ in the hallway. Max had immediately pulled El in for a tight hug as soon as she saw the other girl’s reaction, which is when it finally hit them how much has changed.

Lucas had started growing a beard, a choice that Mike was very jealous of, given that he was never able to grow facial hair, Dustin had grown taller and slimmer over the years yet was still the same height as El, Max hadn’t grown too much taller yet still looked way older than what she was, her hair being now cut to an area just below shoulder length and her jawline being sharper and more feminine than it was before. El was, surprisingly, at least a good few inches taller than Max was, which created an adorable height difference.

The tears didn’t cease the more El thought. Max was getting emotional too, as her breath was getting more uneven every few seconds. “I’m so sorry I made you wait,” El muttered, wanting to move her hands down towards the girl’s waist but feeling as though that was a bit too soon. Max whispered a small “it's alright” in return, but it really wasn’t. If the Byers hadn’t left, the party would still be together. And yeah, they weren’t awkward around each other or anything, but the fact that even hanging out together feels nostalgic is terrifying. These were the only real friends El’s ever had, and losing them would honestly kill her inside. 

Her heart’s filled because of them. Without them, it would be nothing but a nuisance 

(Except for the whole ‘essential organ’ thing. Forget that shit, it’s poetic.)

They were already in February, but June came faster than ever before. Time moved on so quickly now that everyone was back together, and it really goes to show how much they all needed each other. El always spared some time for her and Max to hang out alone, but this was an important day for the both of them- just for the fact that one of them didn’t exactly know it yet. 

“Max?” El called quietly, not wanting to raise her voice too loud. The boys were all asleep in different areas of the basement, Mike and Will both on opposite sides of the couch, their legs intertwined, Lucas was asleep on the loveseat next to the TV and Dustin had fallen asleep right where he was sitting next to the sofa. The room stank of cigarettes and the opened pizza box laying on the table, while Max and El were both on the ground, laying on their sides in their sleeping bags, looking at each other while they spoke. Max hummed in response, moving her hands into a clasped position and placing them right next to her ear on the pillow. El mirrored this, causing both girls to let out small breaths of amusement.

Then came the dreaded question. She hesitated at first, not exactly wanting to break the silence, before sucking in a breath and speaking. “Do you want to go to prom with me?” She asked, her face going beet red. Max’s face contorted into questioning. “What do you mean?” she asked. “We’re all going together, silly,” 

“No,” El shook her head. “I mean, just the two of us. Like a… a date,” She finished, and Max’s eyes visibly widened. This caused the former to backtrack immediately, her face going ghostly pale. “I’m so sorry, I probably shouldn’t of said anything, that was really fucking dumb of me, I’m so sorry if i ruined anything-”

She was cut short when Max jolted forwards and pressed her lips messily to El’s. Her lips were dry and chapped, and her breath smelled slightly of nicotine. She tasted like cigarettes yet had the underlying flavour of apple juice and strawberry chapstick. And they both know this whole thing should be wrong, but fuck, it was too good not to cherish. No, that whole fireworks cliche didn’t really happen, but there were other feelings down in her gut that were so much better, and she could hear her heart pounding out of her chest, and Max’s body pressed against her was so much of a better feeling than she could ever imagine. 

Max pulled away, earning a small whine from El, but only smirking at it before speaking. “Of course I’ll go with you, dummy,” she said, “you just had to ask nicely.”

They kissed again, but it was different. It was more to bask in each other before the others woke up, and this time they weren’t so desperate about it. Because this one was more to confirm that they both felt the same thing, and it wasn’t just for a little test. The feeling that they feel for each other is different than the one that Eleven felt with Mike, or the one that Max felt with Lucas. This one felt permanent, like a tattoo of each other’s names on their wrists, but it felt good. This was a feeling that El didn’t want to put up for sale.

When Prom finally came around was when that pressure of homophobic 80s kids finally hit them. El wanted so badly to dance with the girl she loved like all the boys and girls on the dance floor, laughing, flirting, just being who they want to be without being judged. And when Max walked through the doors with Lucas and Dustin by her side, all three of them talking just like they would when they were playing Dungeons and Dragons in Mike’s basement, was when El’s breath got stuck up in her throat. Max had her hair curled, which was now up to her shoulders instead of being just underneath that, and her red dress went down to her knees with a belt on her waist that perfectly outlined her figure.Her legs almost looked smaller because of the way her dress puffed out below the belt, but she was still wearing her bright red and blue converse that she always wore.

Max stopped in her tracks when she saw El, too, who was getting down from the bleachers to greet her friends. Her hair was also quite curly, even though it was already wavy before, so there wasn’t too much of a difference, but she looked absolutely stunning in her peach coloured dress that reached just below her knees. Both women were pretty obviously checking each other out, yet Lucas and Dustin remained clueless as they walked over to the punch stand that Will and Mike were standing at. Knowing Dustin, he wasn’t gonna stay there for much longer, and he’d probably go off to ask out some random girl he thought was pretty. This time, though, they knew he’d get her, because he truly has grown more attractive over the years.  
A certain song came on, a slower, more melancholy song, that the two girls automatically saddened at. They wanted to slow dance, so badly, but they couldn’t do it here. Not when the boys were just across the gym, not when Troy and his goons are snickering at other couples on the dance floor. Just imagine what they’d say about a closeted lesbian couple slow dancing together.

'I just died in your arms tonight,'

Max turned to El. “We can still dance,” she offered with a small smile, “but not here. We have to go to one of the unused hallways next to the gym.” Upstairs was one of these hallways, and nobody would be upstairs at this time, especially not any students, as everything you’d need is all on the main level. So, they snuck past a few teachers who would probably question them on where they were going to get to the large stairwell.

It sucked that they couldn’t dance in the gym with their friends, but at least the music echoed into the upstairs hallway. The lights were off with the only light source coming from the windows in the hallway that looked down into the gym. It was harder to see Max’s freckles and El’s pink lipstick in the darkness, but they could finally feel each other. Max could feel El’s breath tickling her neck, and her lips didn’t taste like nicotine but instead tasted like peach.

“You taste like peaches,” El murmured, earning a small chuckle from Max in return. “What’s that supposed to mean?” The other asked, smiling fondly into her girlfriend’s eyes. That's the smile that brightened up the whole fucking room, and now El could call it hers.

“Nothing,” El replied quietly, “I‘m just thinking out loud.”

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if the kissing scene wasn't realistic, i've never actually kissed anyone before. (shh, i'm only thirteen, i have some time left.)


End file.
